When I Go
by LilyGinnyBlack
Summary: When I go...I'll compose a song for the moon."-Those were Ikuto's last words to Amu, all those years ago. Amuto AmuxIkuto


_**When I Go**_

_**By:**__LilyGinnyBlack_

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. All plot, characters, settings, and etc. all belong to the rightful copyright owners, Peach-Pit.**

_A/N: Hello everyone! This fanfic was completely unexpected; it just came to me out of nowhere. Anyway, this is a __**one-shot**__ that means there will be no second or third chapters, just this one. __**Before you read the fic, please read this part of the author's note, it's important for fully comprehending the story!**__ The quote used in this fic was one I created, formed by a play on Ikuto's name actually. Thank you to __**Ouran Gurl **__for providing me with the true meanings of Ikuto's name. Anyway, I'm just having some fun with his name. ^^;_

Ikuto, in the series, means constellation, but ikuto could also mean, "When I (you, he, she, it) go(es)…" or "When I (you, he, she, it) pass(es)…" in Japanese, while Tsukiyomi, instead of using it as the God of the Moon, I played on the words used within it. "Moon", which is "tsuki" and "yomi", which is "writing or composing (a poem)" in Japanese. So, "composing a poem, or song, of (for) the moon." Thanks to

-()-

"_When I go… I'll compose a song for the moon…"_

He said that to me, years and years ago. As a child, I didn't know what he meant. I wanted to hold onto his hand forever, the small embrace it gave was so warm, but after a short squeeze, he let go. Whispering those words in my ears. I can remember every tender moment we spent, though back then they were mere blurs of excitement, of unexplainable emotions. Of his conflicts, between his morals and his desires. I hadn't seen that then.

But now I do.

When I sit here, thinking, remembering, longing my heart starts beating, thumping, thumping. And I can recite all the important things he ever said. I can inform a stranger on the street, of how Ikuto's hair fell in such a certain way, and how his eyes would shine as he looked at me. Always. I can go to the supermarket and pick out all the things he likes. When I sit here, I can reflect on all the words I ever said to him. All the words I ever shouted at him, in my rush of overwhelming feelings.

A perverted cat-eared cosplayer. My favorite nickname. But it didn't fit. Not when I glance back at the memories that, one day, seem so clear, and the next, fade away. He never did anything I didn't like, not to the extreme anyway. Nothing like a pervert. Back then he was, to me, he was. But…

After my last sweet kiss from Tadase. After Tadase became 'just another boy'. After my room became too bright for my taste, and just a little too cramped. After I got tired of caring for Ami. After I stepped out into the world. Then was when I understood just what Ikuto had been to me.

"_Grow up faster."_

You knew I wouldn't be able too, but you still wanted it. A child can't become an adult, not at the utterance of a few words, you comprehended this: and said it anyway. I was lost to your words true meaning. I was a child. I still had to grow up.

But, I wonder, what I'm feeling now…did you feel it too? How did you control it? How were you able to treat me so good? I know the answer. I heard it, so long ago, but I want to hear it again.

I want to hear it…

So I can tell you, that I love you too.

"_When I go…I'll compose a song for the moon…"_

When you gently expressed this important statement into my ear, I had been prepared for the quick, sharp pain of your teeth in the flesh of it. But you just slowly backed away, lips soft against my cheek, and hot against my lips. Then you walked away, after I had saved you, had set you free. Your body merged with the inky, black night.

That was the last I saw of you, a retreating back.

Tears had poured down. Then, I couldn't know why. And the confusion of our parting words only fueled them on, turning them from sadness to aggravation.

Tears upon tears of aggravation.

But, as my eyes reflect the full moon, I understand. Everything. Every word and every action. Was I your moon, Ikuto? When you left, did you compose a song for me? One that would make your moon shine so bright, that you, a stray cat, would be able to find your way back by it…to it?

You did.

I can see.

My eyes falling from the moon to the sidewalk below, and there, through the slightly warped glass of the windowpane: you are standing there without a care. No different from before. Now just slightly older, more appealing then my feeble memories make you out to be.

And then I cry.

The tears of joy leaking from my eyes.

And my breath hitches, a hiccup or two gets thrown in the mix, along with a sound, one I can't quite explain. A whine? A high pitch moan? A sound of glee becoming absorbed into my cries of happiness.

My tears, my heart, which you had broken and now-by your mere presence alone-have healed, are singing this song you composed for me.

"When I go...I'll compose a song for the moon." My crying had been so loud; I hadn't even heard him enter. How he got in, I didn't question, how he found me, in a city so large, I didn't question either. He was a stray cat after all. "Isn't that what I said to you?"

I nod my head. "Ikuto!" His name tumbles from my mouth, the sobbing making it sound so unimpressive. So unimportant. When it is oh so important. "Ikuto!" I say it better this time.

"How delectable you look, Amu-chan, all drenched in the moonlight." He was smirking. And I was drenched. The downpour wasn't going to cease. "I didn't know…"

He came so close. He bit my ear; I was calm for that one moment, as my lungs drew a much needed breath. And then he whispered, "…That I could write such a beautiful song."

His lips were on mine.

And I didn't stop him.

-()-

_A/N: That's the end of it. Please tell me what you think of it in a review and take care! _

-LilyGinnyBlack-


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